What to Do When Your Kid Comes Out on Valentine’s Day

However you feel about Valentine’s Day, it’s a difficult holiday to ignore. From the tiny pink and red cupcakes at your local coffee shop, to elegant foam hearts created by well-intended baristas, constant reminders of love are everywhere. Parents quickly become accustomed to their kids exchanging cards with friends and schoolyard crushes. But what happens when your kiddo uses this occasion to announce a same-sex attraction? First, don’t panic. Second, stop assuming your children are straight. Last, repeat one and two. Then keep reading. A couple of things about sexual orientation and attraction. While the experience of first awareness is very personal, kids generally begin to understand t

5 Ways to Face Down the Predators in Our Midst

Last week, a man lunged at his daughter’s attacker during a courtroom appearance. Moments before, the father had requested “time in a locked room” with the attacker as part of his sentencing. Considering the profound history of systematic victimization, this emotional desire for revenge is not uncommon. As a parent, and a human, I completely related to this impulse. Learning your child has been exploited and watching their pain is almost incomprehensible. The rage and helpless guilt that comes with feeling unable to protect them would be overwhelming. Working through these emotions while supporting the child’s healing process takes tremendous energy. Unfortunately, that is only the first par

They, She, Ze, He … Revisiting Why Pronouns Matter

She / her / hers, They / them / theirs, He / him / his, Ze / zir / zirs. Attending conferences typically includes wearing a name tag. Attending conferences on inclusion and diversity typically includes listing your pronouns along with your name. Forgetting to remove that name tag after the conference often sparks a lot of questions about pronouns. Although one very conscientious barista did take time to write out my pronouns on the cup. Which I thought was nice of them. Our social understanding of gender is changing, as is the language we use to describe it. If your organization is hoping to engage with humans in a meaningful way, it’s time to become familiar with a new framework. The word

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